So What is Clingy?
Thought Catalogue describes it as:
“Clingy” has long been deemed as one of the most undesirable traits that could instantly turn off any level of interest. It’s the bomb you drop on the first date if you want to send any dating prospect off to NOPEville. In a nutshell, no one, I repeat, no one wants to be seen as clingy.
Why does it happen?
According to Triple J's Hookup Program: People rush into relationships to lock them down because of insecurity and a need to feel committed. So neediness or "clinginess" relieves insecurity. It's to fill a hole within themselves, to attain approval and to fill the affection void.
So the question is, are you too Clingy?
Well are you? Do you do these kinds of things?
- You text him/her constantly and then get nervous when he/she doesn’t respond
- You follow him/her around
- You over analyse/stalk his/her social media activity
- You don't trust that other person
- You’re too accommodating IE you're constantly at their beck and call.
- You’re highly critical of him/her and always undermining him/her
- You give him/her the silent treatment
- Are you over-giving? Then expecting him/her to reciprocate
So Whaddya do if You Are Clingy?
Changing your clingy ways isn’t just about giving your partner some space to breathe, it’s also about creating space for yourself and distancing yourself from some of those driving neurotic emotions.
- Take it slow when you meet someone new. Nuff said
- Talk to your partner early, let them know that this is a potential problem and for them to be aware of it when it may happen and to pull you up on it when you get a bit cray cray. Honesty is the best policy
- Stop placing your own sense of worth is someone else, its really important that you have your own worth, your own life, and your own friends. Do you have BULK SPARE TIME on your hands? Distract yourself GET BIZZAY FFS!! hang with your mates, sign up for a class, volunteer for a charity, join a small group or pursue a hobby or passion or talent that is yours and yours alone.
- Don't exceed the energy, attention, and effort your partner is investing in your relationship. Don’t bombard your partner with ten texts to every one of his/hers, or ten phone calls to each of his/hers. Even lavishing your partner with gifts or compliments that are out of proportion to what you’re receiving is a form of clinginess.
- Don't be too accommodating and flexible. You may think these are positive traits, but if you’re the only one giving or sacrificing, it’s time to ask yourself why the relationship has become unbalanced and unequal.
- Ease your anxiety. A lot of anxiety is mixed with stress. So you may be feeling anxious because your world is so crazy and busy and you have a lot on your plate. Take some steps to reduce stress, like meditating, doing yoga, doing some exercise and getting at least 8 hours of sleep.
- Watch your body language. Even your body language can overwhelm people and make you feel like you're trying a little too hard to be in their personal space. Just chill, be present, conscious and aware.
- Work on your trust issues: Talk to someone, there's no shame in talking to a quack, or if that's too much talk to your mate?