Guys are always looking for a hack or the path of least resistance in Perth's Dating scene. How easy is it to download an app and start swiping? How easy it to scroll through the gram and DM an absolute stunner? Well yeh it's super easy and that's the problem but this virtual thirst is destroying your chances...
The opportunity to pick up good looking or highly desirable girls is non-existent on these digital dating mediums. Put simply its because there are too many people on the platform. It's like all fishing from the same hole in the ice (Tinder), there are so many hooks/lures to choose from the fish only chooses the shiniest or best-looking one. For the rest of the people fishing, they don't even get a bite!
Because guys are messaging more, liking more Instagram photos, replying to stories, going crazy and being digitally thirsty. This creates a false abundance. Causing both sexes to connect less in the offline (real) world. They're obsessed with this stupid phone and care less if at all about real interpersonal connections. Kinda like when you post a great photo on Instagram and it blows up and gets 100 likes or you write a witty reply on twitter and it gets reposted a lot of times. It makes you feel happy for a limited time, it's a short time high.
You would think it's the opposite, you can sit at home on the couch and go and look at women like a takeaway menu. Then order one from the comfort of your phone. But the fact is that they (the opposite sex) are getting bombarded with messages all day long. Like work emails, they just keep piling up. Work emails are the worst, if you get too many we filter through the important and delete the rest. You are literally being deleted! It's so easy to ignore or dismiss a message. It's hard to stand out in front of other men as a little notification on her phone (which by the way could be an annoying message request). It's so hard to get her attention. Verses approaching them in real life with confidence.
Tinder favours good looking people and if you’re average looking or below a 7/10 you have slim pickings. It's not the best way to meet people. You have two choices: you can be the guy that replies to that Instagram story to no avail or you can be the guy that meets that lady in person to see if there is any romantic opportunity.
- You could swipe 1000 times a month
- get 100 matches
- send 100 messages
- 50 write back
- 25 drop off the face of the earth
- 20 Are keen but never go on a date with you
- 5 people, you go on a date with
- then out of those 5 perhaps one or none at all you connect with
This all equates to an immense waste of time. Way more time than actually going out and approach women for an hour or two. Which potentially could match you to 20 or so women.
When you go out and approach a woman in real life, you can't be ignored. And if you are ignored it's' great because she wasn't meant for you anyway! Way better than waiting for a reply from a message sent two days ago in the hope that you may get to see each other one day. When you’re in front of them you are talking to them in the present moment with their full attention. Verses if you interacted with them in the online world, you WAY WAY down in her bag then in her phone then in the app…
You're not going to get every girl you talk to, and look the same can be said that you’re not going to like every girl that talks to you. However, this is a great screening process. You approach a woman in a genuine way and see if there is any chemistry if there's a spark, proceed and if not, you can go and talk to somebody else... Simple.
Force yourself to delete all your dating apps from your phone. Abstain from looking at porn and focus on approaching women out in the offline world. And yeh we get it, it's not easy in fact it can be downright horrible, the imminent sense that you may be rejected, but please be persistent and stick at it because there are a plethora of benefits.
One is that you become more confident which is really sexy. It also gets you out of your comfort zone. You should always be “comfortable being uncomfortable” This will make you grow stronger mentally as a man. Other benefits include: Lowering your social anxiety, increasing your confidence, getting a thick skin, and it's good for your ego (you won't and I repeat won't get a big head) because you're getting rejected all the time.
Anyway, we reckon this podcast is a good episode, and it's not the PUA (Pick Up Artist) Douchery kinda crap... We feel it's pretty genuine, have a listen and get out there boi! Go up to that girl or girls in Perth Western Australia and say "hi"!
Tristan has briefed heads of state, technology company CEOs, and members of the US Congress about the attention economy, and he’s been featured in media worldwide, including 60 Minutes, PBS News Hour, and many more. He is the co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, which can be found at Humanetech.com, and cohost (with Aza Raskin) of Your Undivided Attention podcast, which exposes the hidden designs that have the power to hijack our attention, manipulate our choices, and destabilize our real-world communities.
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